:: nostalgia ::

I had a moment last night. It came out of nowhere. I had an athlete in a similar situation that I was in. Encouraging her, took me back to when I was first hitting the job world, right out of college. I was terrified, nervous and every emotion in between. The exact thing she was feeling, and the exact feeling that I was telling her to get out of her head.

Flashback to me almost two years ago. I had just had an interview that I flew myself out to California for. It went really well. I made it back to the hotel and made all the usual phone calls. Only one person answered their phone that night, that person I woke up. But that person refused to go back to sleep until I told them about the day and everything about my interview.

With the flashback came a flood of emotion, a feeling of loss and for the first time in a while, realizing that I am missing a part of me in a sense.

Funny how things can do that. Smells, songs and situations can trigger something in our minds that just brings us back to that exact moment in our past and brings back the emotion that we were wrapped up in at that point.

Moving on to happier things..........

1. Colorado is officially bi-polar. Sunday, left Pueblo @ 7:42 pm, it was 60 degrees there. 30 mins later, I am driving through a blizzard. Reminder...it is almost May. What the heck Colorado???

2. Sometimes, wine is the best way to end the night.

3. I sleep with my window open at night. Cause there is a wind chime out side my window, and when there is a breeze, that is the only thing I hear. I don't hear the crazy city sounds, just the wind and the wind chimes.

4. I like when things start to fall into place.

5. I love to travel and am lucky enough that my summer job will allow me to jet set all over the place. Plus it gives me an excuse to buy a cute new bag....that will also double as a carry on.

6. I graduate on May 8th with my Masters'. Talk about weird. Had to order the cap, gown and everything else again.

7. I feel like when music artist aren't good anymore or have hit close to rock bottom.....they get a show on MTV or VHI.

8. Since when did it become impossible for us to survive without our cell phones??

9. I miss those Popsicle things that are red, white and blue. Rocket Pops maybe?

But that's just how the story unfolds

You get another hand soon after you fold

And when your plans unravel in the sand

What would you wish for if you had one chance

So airplane, airplane sorry I'm late

I'm on my way so don't close that gate

If I don't make that, then I switch my flight

And I'll be right back at it by the end of the night

Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars?
I could really use a wish right now, wish right now, wish right now
Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars?
I could really use a wish right now, wish right now, wish right now.

We are only the sum of days.

"It occurs to me, as it sometimes does, that this day is over and will never be lived again, that we are only the sum of days, and when those are spent, we will not come back to this place, to this time, to these people and these colors, and I wonder whether to be sad about this or to be happy, to trust that these hours are meant for some kind of enjoyment, as a kind of blessing. And it feels, tonight, as if there is much to think about, there is much we have been given and much we have left behind."

Kind of changes the way you think about your days huh? Your struggles and challenges become over-shadowed by the pure and simple fact that you will never get this day back. There is no rewind button or pause button on life.

So how do you spend your day? Do you spend it bitter and frustrated with situations and potential scenarios? Do you spend it knee deep in drama? Do you spend it standing in the middle of your life, figuring out how the heck you ended up here in this moment?

OR do you spend your day feeling blessed? Waking up to a new day, a new opportunity to be thankful for what you have, where you have been and what the day ahead of you promises?

A new day brings new chances to see the mysterious ways the Lord is weaving together this thing called life. It is a chance to show gratitude for the individuals in your life, to honor the people who were in your life making you into who you are and to remember the people who are missing from your life. The should've, could've and would've's and the what ifs are also blessings and part of life is figuring out that the things, people and moments we have left behind are all part of the larger picture. And what is this larger picture? This larger picture of our lives is one that we can not understand or comprehend, one that we weren't meant to understand just quite yet.

There are the old cliches about life being a journey........ I like to think of it as a road trip. Its a long trip, many miles and one hell of a ride. We run out of gas, get lost, hit storms and get flat tires. But there is nothing better than the open road, the car set on cruise control with the windows down and music blaring. Not caring if you look ridiculous singing along to music that you would be embarrassed to be listening too. Wearing a wicked cute pair of sun glasses and hanging one arm out the window. Looking in the rear view mirror, seeing where you are coming from but not exactly knowing where you are going, but knowing that when you get there, it is no accident and you are exactly where you are meant to be.

"I don't think we can really understand how time passes. We can't study it like a river or tame it with a clock. Our devices only mark its coming and going. I dropped an anchor three months back, but time didn't slow. Some things have to end, you know. You feel like life is always leading up to something, but it isn't. I mean life is just life. It's all happening right now, and we aren't going to be any more complete a month from now that we are now. I only say this because I am trying to appreciate everything tonight. I will be leaving soon, and I want to feel this, really understand that it is happening because God breathed some spark into some mud that became us, and HE did it for a reason, and I want to feel that reason, not some false explanation."

:: Donald Miller

blessings on wheels

I had the opportunity this past weekend to work with some of the most amazing athlete's I have ever met. I was asked to help cover the National Wheelchair Basketball Association National Basketball Tournament. There were over 100 teams, ranging from junior varsity teams to elite level teams. I am in love with this sport!! These athletes are tough. They flip over, strapped in their chairs, and just pop themselves right back up. If you ever thought that wheel chairs were easy, try playing basketball in one, pushing yourself all over the court insanely fast for two 20 minute halves. Not to mention having the opposing team ram their chairs into you.

These athletes were not only phenomenal, but play with such heart. They are fighters and survivors. I met one athlete from Oklahoma City, who at age 19 has had 21 separate surgeries, including a fractured patella, fractured ribs, torn ACL and many other physical conditions. I still had to send him to the hospital to get an x-ray to make sure he didn't re-fracture his ribs. But before he left he asked if I could just tape him up and let him play. He didn't want to let his team down.

After being in a gym full of wheel chairs and prosthetic limbs, I am much more aware of how fortunate I am to have all my appendages. How fortunate I am to have full function of my body. But these athletes pointed out one very important thing to me. Limitations are only limitations if you allow them to change the way you live. Otherwise, they are simply just challenges that you have to work a little harder, dig in and push.

Not only did I fall in love with wheelchair basketball, I was blessed beyond belief.

At the same time, I was attending a regional athletic training conference. I am kind of a nerd. I love conferences and listening to really smart people throw out medical terms and huge academic words really fast. More than anything, I am reminded how much I love my career. I have been blessed with a passion for treating athletes. And I will continue to become better. I will continue to learn. I am not okay with being a mediocre athletic trainer.

But I was also reminded how fragile life is. In the blink of an eye, one single event can shatter people's lives. One single event, sends me back down memory lane, remembering the small and subtle moments with a certain person. The small chit chat while I taped his ankle. He always had a smile. I remember that. It was an honor and blessing to know you Mark. The world is a little less beautiful now that you are no longer in it. May you rest in peace with your Heavenly Father.

Life is short and life is fast.

Slow down.

Appreciate the beauty.

Find a sense of awe in the small, ordinary moments.

Love God passionately and Love others radically.