Twas the night before Christmas.....

And all through the house, the Christmas lights have been turned off and we are all tucked away for the night.  I still remember those Christmas mornings as a child where once the sun shown through our bedroom windows us kids were up and at it.  There was an aire of anticipation on those Christmas pasts. One year my sister and I slept in our basement and peeked in all of our gifts, only to "re-wrap" them so no one would ever know.  Another year, I numbered all my gifts and proceeded to shake all of them and write down guesses of what they might be.

I looked up at the stars tonight for the first time in a very long time.  I am out of the city and back in my mountains where I belong.  The cold air filled my lungs, but it had the definite smell/taste of mountain air. I had to wonder what the sky looked like the night that Christ was born.  If the air was full of anticipation as if the world knew that the Man who was about to change history was being born.  I have to wonder if Joseph was outside of the manger, pacing and looking into the night sky, trying to figure out his next move.  His wife was about to give birth to a Divine Plan in the most regular, ordinary barn.  I have to wonder if he was scared or nervous.  And what about Mary.......she was only a young girl.  Was she afraid? Did she ever look back on her pregnancy and childhood and wonder how she ended up in that manger that night, giving birth to a King. 

A divine plan, a prophecy fulfilled was given to the world that night.  

Resist the urge to get carried away with the holiday.  To forget that the prophecy is still true today.  Choose to forget the events of the past month and celebrate a day where the world slows down , gathers around a dinner table, a Christmas tree or a pile of presents.  

Merry Christmas....enjoy the day and the moments.  Enjoy the smells, sights and feelings of the Christmas day.  

And to all a goodnight.  

:: a little bit of magic ::

Life gets crazy this time of year.  Between Thanksgiving and Christmas and all those rushed, frantic and crazy days in between, I forget to slow down and breathe.  This week I have been in California for my job. During this trip, I had the chance to go to Disneyland for the first time in my entire life.  I am 27 years old.
I had the extreme pleasure of going with one of my friends who has a four year old son. It was also his first time going to Disneyland.   If you have never been to Disney, I highly suggest that you go with a kid your first time.  His eyes lit up every time he saw a Disney character in costume or a cool looking ride.  For a second, I became a kid again too.  I started to see things for the pure and simple beauty they posses. I screamed on the rides and acted like a child, taking pictures of everything.  I stood there, at Disneyland in the pouring rain in an ugly .99 cent poncho...... I found a bit of magic.  I walked with a four year old, listening to him describe the Buzz lightyear ride and how he had defeated Zurg.   Nothing else mattered in that moment.  Not that I was cold, or wet.  Not the heart break, the stress from work and any other worry. All that mattered is that I had the chance to experience a bit of magic through the eyes of a four year old.

Little did I know that I would have the opportunity to return to Disneyland a few days later with one of my teams. The park is decked out in Christmas decorations.  The buildings are lit up and there are Christmas light shows at night.  At one point, snow started to fall in the streets with holiday music blaring from the speakers.   There we stood......in the "snow".  It was magic.  It was one of those moments that it didn't matter that I was 27 years old, in a theme park designed for children.  What mattered, is that I found a magical moment.....and lived there for awhile.

We all need a little magic sometimes.  I needed a little magic this month.  Something to bring me back to that place of living a life in constant awe or my surroundings and my Savior.  I stood in the middle of a crowded street, looking up into the sky full of fake Hollywood snow, hands out to my side like no one else was there.  That moment didn't mend a broken heart or solve all the issues of work.  Going to Disneyland with a four year old didn't change the fact that it has been a rough month.  It simply made this month blur for awhile, and let me relish the simple, magical moments.  The moments where you realize that life is pretty amazing.  The moment where I remembered that I am simply a small part of a much bigger plan.  The moment where I believe that everything happens for a reason.

Life isn't perfect and 99% of the time, life isn't magical.  That isn't the point.  The point is that it is in the small percentage of our lives, usually in the ordinary and normal day to day things that we find small, quiet moments of magic.  The moments that let our hearts soar a bit and give us the chance to dream.

Today is Thanksgiving.  I am counting my blessings today.  I am blessed to be loved by family and friends. I am blessed to be the daughter of the Lord most high.  I am blessed to have a career that I love.  I am blessed to have experience heart break.  I am blessed enough to have experienced loss.  I am blessed enough to have had struggles.  Sounds a little odd, I know.  But because of those "blessings"  I have been able to see the magic of life, love, laughter and faith.

So here is to magic.  I hope you find some.  

the beginning of a new year

It is the end of August again as summer draws to a close. It has flown by, and I can't figure out what happened to those few months between May and September.

School starts tomorrow for the University that I work at. I have been on campus for the last month getting things ready and working pre-season practices. At these milestones, I always find myself looking back on the previous years and where I was during this exact time.

Last year, at this time my world was full of unknown things. I was returning to work not knowing whether or not I was going to be a full time employee. I felt stuck and in a place of staleness.

This year, I am starting my first full year in my dream job, I found out that I will be an aunt in February and there are all sorts of new things in my life. At the beginning of every year, CCU takes their athletes on a weekend retreat in the mountains. This year, one of the cross country runners shared the following A-Z list of the character or God! It is so beautiful.... I have decided that I want to share it. Full credit goes to Peter Cunningham for these words.

"You only trust someone to the measure that you know them. So praise God that I was challenged, by my best friend, to write an A-Z list describing my God. Also, praise God that THIS DOESN'T EVEN SCRATCH THE SURFACE OF HOW AWESOME OUR GOD IS!!!

My God is Trustworthy Because:

He’s the Adopter, the Air, and Always there,

The Almighty God who is Alive,

And thus the true meaning of Awesome.

His Spirit Baptizes, He is Beautifully Bountiful.

He takes away all Burdens.

That’s why He’s the Best.

He is Consistent and Captivating.

He Covers sin, Clothes shame,

And Cleanses all unrighteousness.

He has Control because He Conquered the grave.

He Deserves my best and Desires my Devotion

Because He Died for sin,

And that's why I Dance

He is Everlasting and has no Equal,

He Eradicates wrong, Everyday is from Him,

And He Endures. That’s why He’s Enough.

He Forgives and Frees, and is Forever Faithful.

In Him, a mighty Fortress, I have no Fear.

He is the Great I am who is Glorious,

Gracious and Good. He Gave everything

And Guides. He is God.

He’s Happy to Help, He’s the Hope for Healing,

And He’s Higher than any other.

Holy is He

Because He’s Immovable,

Indescribable, Irreplaceable, Inscrutable,

Irrevocable, and Impossible to top.

He is Jealous an Just,

Jehovah Jireh my provider

And He is Joy.

He is the all-Knowing, Kind, King of Kings

He is a Living Leader

Who gives Life and is Light.

He is Love.

He Mercifully Molds

And He’s the Messiah.

There is None like Him

Because He has Open arms

Of Opportunity and Opposes sin.

He is the Provider, Peace,

Purpose, and the all Powerful

Praiseworthy Protector.

He’s Quick to forgive

And He Quiets the heart.

He Refines, gives Rest and Redemption.

He Reveals Himself, is Rich in mercy

And that’s why He Reigns over all.

He Saves by grace and is Stronger

Than the Strongest.

He is Timeless and Takes away pain.

That’s why He’s Trustworthy.

His Unconditional love

Is Unchanging,

And His Victory never Varies.

He Washes clean and is

Wiser than the Wisest.

Excellent is His name,

He Yearns for me to be His,

and He is Zealous After my heart"

:: just shakin' my head ::

People make me laugh. Situations make me laugh. The running commentary in my brain during those moments.....is pretty hilarious. Good thing that I don't say those things out loud. :)

In the last couple of weeks, people have been silly. I blame the summer like weather.

To the females who wear shape ups while working out......really?!? They just make you look ridiculous.

To the older man who is working out in short spandex, neon tank top and wearing a fanny pack....what do you absolutely need to carry with you while you work out that requires you to wear a fanny pack circa 1980?? Did I mention that this same man would flex his glutes all the time.....really??

To the people who insist on talking loudly on their phones in the airport....yep, I am listening to your conversation! It's natural!

To the mom and three daughters who were in the row behind me on the 2 hour and 45 min plane ride to Denver. Two things for you.

1. There is no reason to wear your sunglasses on the plane.

2. Please do not discuss family issues and argue across the aisle of the plane for 2 hours. There are other people around who don't care about your family drama. For example....me!

There was just a commercial for jean diapers. The tag line was: "my diaper is full.....of fashion!" What has the world come to?!? There is something seriously wrong with this.

People who get angry at little things. Seriously people..... it is a waste of energy to be mad at nothing.

Some people just make me laugh!

It is May 1st.

It is the first day of May. Which draws to a close my little mini project for the month. I have taken time, every day....okay maybe every other day to count my blessings; to reflect on what I am grateful for.

I will be the first to admit, that turning my attention to things that I am grateful for the last couple weeks has been a challenge. I found myself writing silly things like music or coffee. Maybe they aren't silly at all. With each one of those things that I identified, there was a moment or a collection of moments bundled up with it. It is in those moments that the smell or taste of coffee, the lyrics of my favorite song or the simple act of rolling the window down as I drive, that warms my soul, reminding me to take a deep breath, enjoy the moment and give thanks.

On multiple occasions, it was just a rough day. I was frustrated. The last thing I wanted to do was to stop, put effort into blogging 5 or 10 things that I was grateful for. Let's face it....being upset, frustrated and angry is much easier than CHOOSING to be grateful. But making that choice or forcing myself to continue this project changed my attitude on numerous days. It changed my perspective.

So here I am.....just as May 1 is about to turn into May 2nd. I still have 10 last things to be grateful for as I draw this project to a close.

1. The US Military. About an hour ago, it was announced that Osama Bin Laden was declared dead. For those men and women, the fathers, sisters, brothers, mothers, friends etc. that put their life on the line to ensure our freedom....THANK YOU.

2. Spring cleaning. I love throwing stuff away!

3. Fresh flowers! I may have bought myself some flowers today. The Dove chocolate wrapper told me to!

4. Finding old pictures.....and reliving the moments captured.

5. Vanilla Coke...cold...with a straw. Yes, the straw makes all the difference.

6. Going into Monday knowing that I actually accomplished something.

7. Being stretched and challenged. Doing things that I am not accustomed to doing, but learning along the way.

8. For pastors, my Dad included. Who stand in front of a crown every Sunday and share God's word.

9. The moment when you do something ridiculous and you look around hoping that no one saw you.

10. Beautiful words, and those that take those words and produce a work of art. Case and point....the video below. I just adore this video. It gave me goosebumps. This is what I would want to tell my future daughter and I feel like she is even telling me, right now, just as I am.

:: a pretty stellar day in my world::

Again, I have managed to neglect this for a couple of days. So now I am up to the task of getting 15 things that I am grateful for.

The first five are pretty simple. Today was just one of those days that was wonderful in numerous different ways. It is starting to become spring out. And with the warmth.....my college kids start to relax. Probably helped a little that it was the last day of class.

1. I am thankful for days like today.

2. For crazy college kids that make me laugh.

3. For those moments that make you laugh....case and point...being attacked by college basketball players with nerf guns while being trapped in a locker room....yep....we are talking total Call of Duty style.

4. Yogurtland!!

5. People with true talent......a.k.a Jimmy Needham in concert.

6. Hugs. Especially hugs with a little squeeze.

7. Feeling like I am making progress.

8. Beautiful days where you can drive with the windows down.

9. I am so incredibly grateful for the people who work hard, behind the scenes and never get the appreciation they deserve.

10. Sleeping in.

11. Spring cleaning.

12. Fluffy pillows.

13. Funny people.

14. That moment that your body is telling you how tired you really are and you just know that you are going to sleep well!

15. Sarcasm. I know....strange. But it is true.

three days in a row.....

Here we are, back at Monday. In the last couple of days I have neglected my routine of listing things I am grateful for. Deciding to intentionally shift my attitude and focus on things I am grateful for takes energy. A lot of energy.

So, since I have managed to not keep up with this for 72 hours..... here are 15 things I am grateful for.

1. Satellite radio is amazing.

2. Time to myself....just me, in my car, driving back to Denver.

3. Being able to laugh at myself.

4. Hugs from my Dad.

5. Knowing who I want to be.....and who I don't want to be.

6. Inside jokes.....they keep me sane.

7. Chances to dress up.

8. Rain.

9. Seeing people in terrible situations, who still continue to be calm and increase their faith. Reminds me that I am incredibly blessed.

10. Seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.

11. For my seniors! Being part of their story for the last three years and watching them open a new chapter in life is a blessing!

12. People who give of themselves, their time and their energy.....and expect nothing in return.

13. A couple hours of sunshine during a day that starts out dreary and ends dreary.

14. Feeling appreciated.

15. Making it to 15 things!

A different type of gratitude.....

The last couple of days have been kind of strange. A bit of a roller coaster and for some reason it just doesn't seem right to narrow it down to ten things that I am grateful for today.

Last night I was on a plane from Denver to Durango, we took of right as the sun was going down and all I could see below were city lights. When I fly, I can't help but look out the window. Makes me feel so small. I landed in the small Durango airport, and besides running into a few familiar faces, my dad was waiting for me.

I love my house in Durango. I love sleeping in my bed and trying to fall asleep in a place that is so incredibly quiet. No sirens, no traffic sounds....just silence. I love waking up in this house. To coffee and looking out onto the back deck into the forest.

I woke up this morning to some sobering news. A family here in Durango had lost their father suddenly. I have known this family for awhile, since their kids were little. I remember getting big hugs from the mom anytime I happened to run into her. It makes my heart break knowing that they are grieving the lose of their husband and father.

So listing 10 things today just doesn't seem right.

I am thankful for life, for another day. Pretty simple right?!?!

I am grateful for a Savior who died on a cross for our sins. For a Savior who stretched out His arms, only to suffer a death for us. And with those arms stretched wide on that cross, embraced me......giving me hope, even though I do not deserve it. Giving us life.

Thats it.....all that can not be summed up in a 10 thing list. Some things are just beyond lists.

Day 14

Welcome to the longest week ever! It seems like it is just dragging on. My body and mind are tired today and of course is was a fabulous rainy day.

the five for today:

1. I am grateful for those moments in life and your day where something happens and you just can't stop laughing.

2. I am thankful that I work with people who are funny, full of energy and can make me laugh.

3. Good news. I work in a career where I often have to deliver bad news. For once today, I got good news with one of my athletes. Now that is something worth celebrating.

4. Doctors and other medical professionals who recognize that I am also a medical profession and treat me like one.

5. I am thankful for those three or four minutes when you first climb into bed after a long day...and you just sink into a comfortable position.

day 11 + day 12 = 10 more things to be thankful for.

I guess I am getting into the groove of writing two days in one. My brain feels like it is already Friday and yet, the calendar is telling me different! My to do list is also telling me that I have a hundred things to do, calls to make and meetings to get to.

I will admit, it has been tough this week to try and remain grateful. Being frustrated, stressed and irritated is so much easier than trying to remain positive and show gratitude.

10. Cheerful baristas at Starbucks that make me laugh.

9. Days where I HAVE to get up early...and I don't have to rush.

8. Inspiration. From people, from videos........ from everything.

7. Compliments. Everyone is grateful for these. But the type of compliment that promises nothing in return...but a genuine compliment.

6. I am thankful when days that you think are going to be jammed packed busy....free up!!

5. Olive Garden salad. I know...sounds ridiculous, but for some reason it just tasted so good tonight!

4. People who laugh at themselves and their own jokes.

3. Cameras. I am no photographer. But I love taking pictures. Things look different from behind a camera.

2. New shoes. I know...I am such a typical girl. I have way too many shoes, but I can't turn down a good deal on cute shoes.

1. New beginnings. Closing on chapter and opening another. Taking another step in a journey....whether it be good or bad

Below is a video that one of my friends posted on facebook. It gave me goosebumps.

Red Rocks + Switchfoot + Chasen = Epic....and 10 more things to be thankful for

Again, I am combining two days in a row. It is the weekend, and this weekend my brain shut down after a crazy roller-coaster of a week.

Saturday I had the privilege of attending the Calling Conference! I have an athlete that has a passion for encouraging teens and college students to chase after what they want and not be afraid. Her vision started in High school where God laid it on her heart to reach out to these people. Now she is a senior in college. In conversations earlier this year, she was in the planning phase of this conference. Where would she get the money? Where would this conference be? What bands can we get for little money to attract people? And yet she just kept her faith in the process and in the event. Last night, I sat in Red Rocks amphitheater, listening to speakers, the band Chasen and Switchfoot.

So I am thankful for:

- clear nights with a big, bright moon.

- People who never give up their vision...and keep the faith.

- People who dream big.

- People who respect me and my expertise.

- Moments that give you goose bumps.

And the next five.....

6. Being productive on a Sunday.

7. Yogurtland. Enough said.

8. Days where you don't have to change out of your pajamas.

9. Accidently leaving my phone on vibrate! Ooops! Makes my sunday a little less crazy when I can't hear my phone!

10. Large, color coated calendars that make me feel a little bit more organized!

And here we are again....about to wake up to a Monday. And I am keeping my fingers crossed that this Monday is kind to me.

Two in One

So I missed yesterday! I had a later evening and then had to be up at 5 am this morning, so this whole thankful blog thing wasn't happening.

So today I double up and give you ten things that I am thankful four. On my end, this week seems to get crazier as it goes on.

1. I am thankful for bright colored coffee mugs at 6:30 am in the morning.

2. I am grateful for people who do jobs others wouldn't dare, do it well and probably don't get paid nearly enough. For example, custodians.

3. A light at the end of the tunnel.

4. Spring evenings that are beautiful!

5. There is just something about walking a dog that makes me happy!

6. Good Morning America at 6 am!!

7. For the small chunk of time when no one is the event center and I am there alone. For that small chunk of time where I get so much done.

8. Laptops.

9. ITunes!

10. Afternoon naps and Project Runway marathons.

:: day 6 ::

It is not even halfway through my 22 day gratitude challenge, and I am already thinking that I might run out of things to be thankful for. But there is my problem! Gratitude and thankfulness should never have limits.

1. Did I mention that I am grateful for coffee?!?!

2. I am thankful for children. From newborns to 18 month olds. Kids carry a sense of adventure and hope. I had an 18 month old in my office today, who turned the light switch on and off for 5 mins, and it was the most spectacular thing in his eyes.

3. Random photo opportunities. As one of my very close friends knows, there is just something about random photo shoots that I love. Capturing a moment that is ridiculous, awkward and hilarious with a camera is priceless. Today, one of my athletes was on a mission, and took pictures with everyone he saw. One picture he was trying to take with me while I was on the phone discussing auto insurance. That one is a keeper....trust me!

4. I am thankful for being told that I will be missed by people who are leaving CCU or graduating. Those words hold some pour.

5. I am grateful for rain. I love rain, the sound of it, the smell of it.....everything.

There is a song from a little band called Foolish Things. I love the lyrics.....

well i think i need the rain today

pounding down on me

it's reminding me that i'm still alive

or supposed to be

and it's good to watch the clouds today

and the ways they move and roll

i guess it helps to ease my troubled mind

to know that someone's in control

so show me the way to find myself a better day

'cause i'm barely holding on

i need you here to wash away these doubts and fears

and hold my hand tight till the dawn

:: Words that seem so appropriate this week::

Day 5

Today was just one of those days. And to be very honest, I don't want to be sitting here writing down things that I am thankful for. But I am forcing myself to continue with a project that I set out on. I am resisting the urge to turn this into some sort of venting session, listing all the things that frustrate me.

1. I am thankful for my parents. I have a terrific family. I am truly blessed.

2. I am thankful for humor, and people who have a terrific sense of humor.

3. I am grateful that in my job, I get to see progress made both physically and mentally. I get to see an athlete from injury to getting back into competition. Today we celebrated with an athlete being able to jump for the first time in about 4 months.

4. Days where you can open up the windows and get some fresh air.

5. Iced coffee drinks. I am sure this one might pop up tomorrow.

:: Monday...also known as day 4 ::

Monday is almost over! And this particular Monday packed a pretty little punch and it didn't have any surprises up it's sleeve. Thank goodness!

1. I am thankful for loving my job. For feeling like this is exactly where I was meant to be and what I was created to do. For knowing that I have a purpose and my work matters. That my work gives me the opportunity to pour into college athletes.

2. I am grateful for productive days where I feel like a grown up. Paying my bills....getting a new car etc. :)

3. I am thankful for people who challenge me and stretch me. Who encourage me to think outside of the box and hold me accountable for the person that I am committed to becoming, and not just who I am in the here and now.

4. I am thankful for kids and their smiles. The kind of smile that just brightens your day and melts your heart!

5. I am grateful for songs that stick in your head. The ones that seem to be a soundtrack to your life and the ones that know the tune and notes in your heart. The type of song that you will stay in your car just to hear the entire thing.

Day 3 ish

I know...it is technically day 4, but by brain shut off yesterday and so did my motivation! Sundays are my down day. Woke up, went to church and relaxed pretty much all day!! Went to see the new Soul Surfer movie and ended the night with YogurtLand! It was a glorious day.

So I here I sit at the beginning of the week. It is Monday again and I am not much different than other people, my Monday's usually pack quite a punch! So before my Monday gets started, here are my five things from yesterday.

1. I am thankful for low key Sundays! Days that I can relax, catch up on rest and on the many other things that I neglected to do during the week.

2. I am thankful for struggles. I know, sounds a little backwards, but I am thankful for struggles. I have learned more and more over the past years that struggle produces growth. And in those times of growth I have found renewed energy, renewed passion and strength.

3. I am grateful for the underdog and upsets!! I know, you can tell that I work in college athletics. I love sports for the pure and simple fact that anyone can win on any given day. That is the beauty of the NCAA March Madness. Side note, I did correctly pick the NCAA Men's National Champion! Yeah UCONN!! Gold star for me!

I love underdog stories.....they give us hope. They give us vision and encouragement when we all face giants in our life!

4. I am grateful for morning where I don't have to rush. Where I can make breakfast and enjoy a couple cups of coffee!

5. Last, but definitely not least, I am thankful for my ten fingers and my ten toes. I spent the weekend working with the National Wheelchair Basketball Tournament here in Denver. I was surrounded my some of the most elite athletes! Despite physical hardships, they have a competitive spirit and play with such soul. I am humbled every time I work with this group of individuals. They are phenomenal! I am so grateful for opportunities like this that help me readjust my perspective. That allow me to work with different populations!

Happy Monday everyone....go drink another cup of coffee!

FivE mOrE ThiNgS to Be grAteFul foR

Second day in a row! I am making progress!!

So day 2 of 22 and another list of five things I am grateful for.

1. Green grass! It is finally starting to look and smell like spring.

2. My dad! I am so incredibly thankful for my father. I am truly blessed beyond belief and would not be the woman I am today without him.

3. Unique opportunities! This weekend I was able to work the National Wheel Chair Basketball Tournament. So much fun and I am the one who feels blessed to watch these individuals compete.

4. I am thankful for people who are passionate about what they do.

5. I am grateful that I am surrounded by a Christian community where people do not curse and use vulgar language in every sentence.

:: 22 days of gratitude ::

I will get it out in the open before I start this little project! I am stealing this idea. I have one friend who wrote a blog for a week, listing 15 things she was grateful for. I have another friend that is doing one of those 30 day photo challenges. So I am combining the two concepts: 22 days of gratitude!

Why 22 days?? Well, cause it is a good even number, and there are 22 days left in April.

Why gratitude? I don't know about you, but the first thing to go when I get frustrated and busy is my attitude of gratitude. I forget how blessed I really am.

So here is my challenge to myself. For the next 22 days, I will post 5 things a day that I am grateful for. Within the next couple months, I will become very busy. Despite the craziness......I want to remain grateful. I want to keep my feet on the ground and my heart filled.

So here is the first five, and I can't guarantee that within the next 22 days I will not repeat a thing or two.

1. I am thankful that I have a job that I love. I never dread going to work! How many people can say that??

2. I am grateful for people who speak life into me.

3. Thankful for spending the day outside in the sun!

4. Grateful for new life.

5. Thankful for the little inspirational sayings on Dove chocolate!

Sunny Days

Beautiful days, the type that you have to roll down your window while you drive and put on the sunglasses. Those days....deserve two things. Number 1- And iced coffee drink. Number 2- Good music. In Colorado these types of days are rare, especially in the middle of February when a week prior had us in the subzero temperatures. So these types of days seem even sweeter.

So it was one of those days this past Sunday. I went through the Starbucks drive through. Windows down and good music playing. It seemed like everyone was shaking off the winter blues and the subzero temps and getting outside. A little glimpse of spring. A little teaser of what to expect in the following months. At least I hope so. Colorado has a tendency to be bipolar in the weather department.

So.....iced coffee drink in hand...windows down....and a song came on. "Take Me As I Am" by FM Static. It goes a little something like this.

This time I finally see the

Reason why, I can’t do this

Alone, it took some time and concentration,

to believe it, this I know

’ll be Your hands, take me as I am,

I just wanna be with You

Take me as I am, ‘cause I’m goin’,

I was too scared to start,

and now I’m too scared to let go

Take me as I am, ‘cause I’m Growin

I lift my voice to sing out,

Let the sound of my heart ring out,

These hands aren’t holdin’ me down,

Never again will I be without

These words have been on my heart all week....and I seem to sing this song a little louder when I am driving. This morning I found the following passage in My Utmost for His Highest.

We all have many dreams and aspirations when we are young, but sooner or later we realize we have no power to accomplish them. We cannot do the things we long to do, so our tendency is to think of our dreams and aspirations as dead. But God comes and says to us, “Arise from the dead . . . .” When God sends His inspiration, it comes to us with such miraculous power that we are able to “arise from the dead” and do the impossible. The remarkable thing about spiritual initiative is that the life and power comes after we “get up and get going.” God does not give us overcoming life—He gives us life as we overcome. When the inspiration of God comes, and He says, “Arise from the dead . . . ,” we have to get ourselves up; God will not lift us up. Our Lord said to the man with the withered hand, “Stretch out your hand” (Matthew 12:13). As soon as the man did so, his hand was healed. But he had to take the initiative. If we will take the initiative to overcome, we will find that we have the inspiration of God, because He immediately gives us the power of life.

So today...may you reach out your hand to our Savior and be healed. Where ever you are in life...in this day...in this year.... rise up, get up and reach out to the Lord. Find the power of life. Find life in overcoming. Find inspiration in the Lord. Offer up your beat up, bruised, exhausted, stressed self and find rest in this restless world.

:: Choosing Joy and Finding Strength ::

I learned a very important lesson this past summer. A co-worker of mine, someone who also happens to know me quite well put it simply.....STRESS IS SELF IMPOSED. I know, it sounds crazy. Stress is a weird thing, we hate it, but we thrive off of it. It is an emotion that we choose to feel, and unfortunately, that emotion sometimes drives our words, actions and everything in between. Of course, when I first learned this lesson I was a bit resistant. I think my exact response was... "well, I think I am allowed to be stressed about some things and situations, like..." I preceded to list several situations that I felt I deserved to be stressed about. His response, ever so simply was..... "that isn't how it works. You have to let it all go".

This is a work in progress. But I must admit, it changes everything. It is so much easier to be joyful about situations, to maintain perspective and logic. Stress is exhausting in every sense, physically, mentally, emotionally,......you get the idea. Joy is easy....about 80% of the time. The other 20% are those terrible situations in which joy is the last emotion on your mind.

There has been a phrase in my head that last couple of weeks. The phrase has popped up in conversations, podcast sermons, bible readings and other random places.

"...This day is holy to God. Don't feel bad. The joy of the Lord is your strength!"

Nehemiah 8:10

Notice how is doesn't say, for My Joy is my strength. The JOY of the LORD, is where you will find strength. The days where we can't get through them on our own, the days where instead of letting the world weigh you down, you choose to look up, and find the JOY of the FATHER.....and within that JOY we find STRENGTH. It's a difficult thing to do... relying on the LORD and laying down the burdens of this world. But once you do..... there is a freedom that follows. Choosing joy starts with a little bit brighter of an outlook on your day. Before you know it, instead of thinking about everything that is wrong with life, you wake up remembering how blessed you are. You remember that it isn't about what we can DO..... because it has already been DONE.

I always thought that joy was some how a "weak" emotion. By taking things seriously, painted me as a more professional, grown up person. I never connected joy and strength. Nor did I know to look for strength from joy. But maybe that was my problem. I was looking for joy. I was looking for strength. Once I stopped looking and realized that all I had to do was let go and lay it all down at the feet of the Lord. That is when I found my joy.